It has been so hard reconciling this loving God with my pain & disappointment. A God who is just & fair with the seemingly senseless distribution of babies to parents who cannot or will not care for them. A God who refers to children in the bible as a reward, a comfort, a blessing - yet who chooses not to "bless" me??
I have heard many perspectives on God & infertility- that I need to have stronger faith - ask & believe & then you will receive; I've heard infertility referred to as punishment for past sins; a chance to grow & learn; He is waiting for the right time; you're not with the right partner; God will use the opportunity to support others; God won't give you a child until you are ready.
I have come to the belief that there is no right answer & the only way for me to be at peace in my relationship with God through this process is to just trust that he is there with me through it no matter what & trust the plan & purpose, whatever that may be. So much easier said than done, I know! And it has taken me so long to get to this place. It has made me realise my weakness, my vulnerability & complete reliance on Jesus.
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